5 days down, 25 to go

Hi friends!

Okay! Here we are!! Half of one week into June!!! I haven’t bought anything yet, and I’m feeling good about it. I love the start of a challenge. It’s how I feel in the immediate hours after folding clean laundry, when the hamper is empty, before it’s ruined by the introduction of even one piece of dirty clothing. (This is also how I feel when I’ve dropped off returns at the post office, which I also did last week, returning the dress and two of the three loafer alternatives I bought, as promised. Looking forward to the moment that $400-ish dollars rejoins my credit card.)

It hasn’t gotten too hot yet, so it’s probably for the best I chose June for this trial (I’m playing Zelda: Breath of the Wild on my Switch, and thus calling everything “a trial”). Summer dressing really stresses me out. On the whole, I don’t find outfit-planning fun the way I did when I was a teenager/in my twenties, which makes me sad, and it’s even worse in the summer, when I often feel trapped between my desires to 1) stay cool and 2) cover up and 3) present my gender somewhere along the tomboy/femme spectrum. Dresses are so obviously superior as a summer garment, in both ease and physical comfort, but I don’t often find ones that I’m actually comfortable in.

I like this shirt dress, for instance, but it doesn’t strike me as particularly breathable, and the shapeless thing is hard to make work if you have a bigger chest, which I do. That, actually, is my main issue with summer dressing: I can’t keep my breasts under the radar as easily without also looking sloppy, like a kid drowning in their parent’s t-shirt. Occasionally I’ll dream of becoming a Reformation girl in bright floral bustiers, but I don’t like the attention, real or imagined, and ultimately that brand isn’t made for breasts anyway. It’s not that I don’t like my body, but — I think largely as a result of lifting — I like it more for what it can do than how other people perceive it.

Rompers don’t work either (generally exposing too much leg), and so I end up spending summer in an endless rotation of black or white tank tops with jean shorts, or overalls, which I tend to think I’m getting too old for. I end up bored and boring, and I don’t know how to fix it. This month, at least, I won’t, and it feels a bit freeing to consider a solution forbidden rather than simply unattainable.

I am considering this dress for my July wedding party, if it’s still there when my ban is lifted. I think it might manage to strike that modest/comfy/femme-lite balance. I just to look STUNNING and entirely unavailable. I want to adopt Stacy London’s whole thing. Tips welcome.